Cows And Politics Explained
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd’s pie, please.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
This entire post was stolen from About.com 
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Nice post
I liked the French part… very true.
Cigar Inspector’s last blog post..Cohiba Esplendidos
Haha! Love the british cow one. When I was there i didn’t eat a single steak because we were worried about mad cow disease. Not a single piece of cow meat for 6 years! Nice analogies
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Haha,”Two cows”-Great!!!
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How come Darin.cc now has an ad block?
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A Taiwanese Corporation: You don’t actually have any cows at all, you simply manufacture all the parts in China, and ship them to your markets worldwide (See China). You then import all your beef and milk from the US.
investorblogger’s last blog post..Quotation: James Brausch
This stuff is funny as hell….but so true that it’s kind of scary.
Chris’s last blog post..This Is Pretty Good Stuff Here….
The french one made me laugh haha
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That’s class. Russian one is obviously the best
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About time you came up with something for me to bookmark. Just bloody hillarious. Gotta digg it.
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Hahaha, that was too funny!
Nice one Cow!
A Swedish Corporation: You fire both of your two cows and hire a consultant to figure out why you don’t get any milk anymore
/Andreas
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“A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.”
Ahahahaha
Nice post!
Bas’s last blog post..Twitter Updates for 2008-03-12
lol… You crack me up.
I would have related the Two Cows in Japan to not being able to download or something
http://www.techcrunch.com/2008/03/15/japanese-isps-to-ban-file-sharers/
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[...] and behold! John Cow explains Cows and Politics. AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So [...]
[...] Cows And Politics Explained Stereotypes and political incorrectness, cow style. Come to think of it, since I’m a mad cow and the Spanish call the British “vacas locas” (mad cows), maybe that’s what I should have named this blog. (tags: Politics) [...]
lol, those are hilarious…yet very true.
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What would you do with both cows
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An oldie but a goodie.
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A LOYAL READER: He have 2 cows. A cow left because it’s a very long post. Another cow was really impressed by the study you have done, but got disappointed when it read the ’stolen from about.com’.
Great post!
Oh man…the Indian one cracked me up
-Raymond
I think my comment was deleted. Anyway, I sent this to a bunch of friends and family. They’re all hilarious.
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I spent a good time reading those funny quotes
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Awesome. That is funny stuff!
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I like that, haha. Good find (and very relevant to your stuff
).
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An oldie but a goodie
I think that the French would also park their cows in the road to block traffic!
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haha … it was a funny read .. I love the Japan Coporation… Cowkimon
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[...] Cows and Politics Explained - John Cow makes it really, [...]
[...] was ripped from JohnCow.Com who stole it from About.Com - Gotta love the net!) Tagged Under : corporations, cow, Cowkimon, [...]
A Taiwanese Corporation: You don't actually have any cows at all, you simply manufacture all the parts in China, and ship them to your markets worldwide (See China). You then import all your beef and milk from the US.
investorblogger's last blog post..Quotation: James Brausch