Confessions of a Dot Cow Moogul

Written by Jason Katzenback on July 10th, 2007
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For all of those wondering just how we cows provide such rich milk, here’s a short list of confessions.

  1. We chew cud longer than most. Every time you look over at us, whether we moo at you or not, we’re chewing. Rich milk takes lots of grass. How long did you graze today?
  2. We roam around different pastures looking for the best grass. It’s hard to always have something to moo about, and a variety of different turfs really does a body good. Just this morning I found some fabulous ryegrass and bluegrass to accompany my normal wheatgrass heavy diet, in fact. Obviously we cows give you plenty of bovi-licious brain food, but it’s good to get out to new pastures.
  3. Sometimes we have to milk ourselves. When the udders are full and the milk needs a-packagin’, sometimes you just have no choice. And no, the milk is never quite as sweet, but those morning Cheerios still need some leche, and when all the farmers turn in for the night, sometimes a cow’s gotta mind her own barn.
  4. Some days your milk is creamier for no apparent Mooby, the Golden Calfreason. We move through even more pasture on those days. When the cream flows, a good cow has to take advantage. Stock up.
  5. We don’t take ourselves to seriously. Even though we’re well on our way to overtaking Mooby the Golden Calf as the most influential Mooer, we still have four stomachs like everyone else.

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15 Responses to “Confessions of a Dot Cow Moogul”

  1. cooliojones says:

    Wow, you can milk yourselves? Do you gotta be careful with those big hooves? I guess a cow’s gotta do what a cow’s gotta do!

    • John Cow says:

      Take it easy with those one-line-comments. You’re mooing our serverspace!

      • mahdi yusuf says:

        yeah cooliojones, drop some knowledge in one those comments than rather just saying something with no value, let the people know something they can take away and tell there kids!

    • Smart Guy says:

      Of course we can self-milk. Every good cow can mind her own barn!

      Strange imagery aside, this is a reference to the notion that every entrepreneur ends up sweeping the floor sometimes. Sometimes when JC asks me for a rich n’ creamy blog post, I can only produce nonfat yogurt, and he gets stuck churning butter without me.

      Well, no, not really, because I love mooing, but you get the idea.

  2. [...] to Google Latest Feeds Confessions of a Dot Cow Moogul – 36 minutes ago For all of those wondering just how we cows provide such rich milk, here’s a [...]

  3. joshua says:

    ewwww… chewing cud.

  4. Is this an extension of the 8 things we didn’t know about you Mr. Cow? Sometimes when I’m really hungry and don’t want to get up from my chair, i’ll have a snack and just chew my own cud so it lasts longer. :lol:

  5. I would kind of like to see a cow milk itself..would be quit an interesting site to see.

  6. mahdi yusuf says:

    where do you get all these cool cow logos, mooby is very cool, childrens show though from what country if you dont mind me asking!

    • Smart Guy says:

      Mooby is a fictional character a la Ronald McDonald. He’s present in several Kevin Smith movies, most notably Dogma.

      The link in the post above sends you to the Wikipedia entry, which goes in much further detail.

  7. Haha wow! Nice confessions.