4 Weeks to Answering What This is All For!
| Share |
(This post is a continuation of yesterdays post Do You Already Assume How the Conversation Went?)
Can you really answer the question of “What This is All For” in your current situation/state of mind?
If you are not able to be honest with others (including yourself), if you have no time, if you are unhealthy, stressed out or any number of other things…. can you really answer that question?
For the past 6 months I have had what appears to be an enemy attacking me. I do not care if you are a Christian (I am and darn proud of it), believer in some other higher power or an atheist… there are times when you feel like everything seems to be going wrong and it appears like someone is out to get you. It seemed that everything that I had my hands in was being ripped apart and attacked.
I remember sitting in my office with my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands just feeling overwhelmed. Every aspect of my life was under attack… and I was looking for someone to blame. It was not until 3 weeks after when I was talking about it with two very close friends that I suddenly realized what happened.
I WAS THE BLAME!
You see I have always been a big believer in the fact that in order to be successful you had to be accountable for your actions… but I was not practicing what I was preaching. I have always set goals, I have always planned accordingly but when the rubber finally hit the road I realized that I was a complete hypocrite. Now do not get me wrong, 80% of what i was doing was good… I was setting goals, I was achieving targets and I was progressing… but then comes that ole 80/20 rule again.
The 20% that I was not doing right… that was the most important part that I needed to be focusing on first!
So what did I do?
I sat down and tried to write out exactly what I was doing this all for… but I could NOT answer it. My first attempt was so fake it made me sick and that was when I realized that I was at fault. The problem was because of all of my current emotions, paradigms, internal and external stresses I was not able to actually even write that out. I was driven by emotion… I was frustrated with employees, with family members and with people I volunteered with… and all of this frustration was causing me a lot of anger and contempt.
SLAP!!!
I realized that I suddenly was slapped in the face and had to give my head a shake and stop everything. If I continued down that path I was traveling, I was going to fail!
Once again I picked up my pen and this time instead of writing out what it was I was doing this for, I started writing down all the things that were causing me frustration and stress. I wrote everything down… I did not care how immature it sounded, if it caused me any stress I wrote it down.
I then went through the list and categorized them into controllable and uncontrollable. What that means is the things that I have the power to control and the things that I do not have the power to control. To my complete surprise I had almost every single item in my list under the controllable category.
SLAP!!!
Talk about another slap in the face. I had been telling myself lies for so long and these lies were all about how I could not control certain things and I would just deal with them by suppressing them. I would constantly have conversations in my head and assume how the outcome would be and therefore act according to my assumptions… this HAD TO STOP!
My 4 Week Plan…
That was when I decided on a new goal… a goal that was set for 4 weeks and I created a plan on how to achieve that goal. I like working in weeks because it allows me to organize my schedule to get into a pattern (habit) in order to achieve goals. To do this I also knew I had to eliminate as much of my list of stress and frustration as possible… I needed to have a clear head…
I COULD NOT ACT ON IMPULSE OR EMOTION
So I started a mind map… just with a pad and paper to get one started right away and I tried to organize and prioritize how I could do this… and what I came up for myself was….
- Time: I needed to give myself as much time as I could to focus on the right things, needed to eliminate activities that were time suckers or may even seem important but distracted me from achieving this goal.
- Health: I needed to eat better, sleep better and exercise more so I could feel better and be more focused… but I needed time to do that.
- Clutter: I needed to organize myself better and delegate better (ties into “Time” but for me I made this a separate category).
- Family & Friends: I needed to make room for the people that I love first and foremost.
Tomorrow I am going to share with you the actual plan that I created and the details of it. This plan is my plan… but I HIGHLY recommend you heed my advice here and figure this out and make a plan for yourself before life starts slapping you in the face.
So.. any comments?
Posts in this series…
- 1. What is This All For?
- 2. Do You Need a Slap in the Face?
- 3. Do You Already Assume How the Conversation Went?
- 4. Four Weeks to Answering What is This All For!
- 5. Step 1 of 4 Week Plan to Answering What is This All For
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Around the Web4 Weeks to Answering What This is All For!Can you really answer the question of “What This is All For” in your current… Justin Seibert: Search Blogger of the Day Meet Justin Seibert, the Search Blogger of the Day. Today I’d like to highlight a post entitled
well it will be nice to see your plane tomorrow. Being a believer in GOD i can understand. Sometimes you feel certain things at right time and that is the time you should look back and make a mind for future. Do not run away from crises, Defend yourself in such times.
Yup.
Wish you success in your plan!
Very inspiring post.
Hey John,
Now I understand the whole slap in the face deal. Now I get it!! you got a couple of them lately huh?
Well congrats, at least you got to the point where you can put things in perspective again. I wish you the best of lucks on the road to the new you!!
Interesting. I’ve been busy of late and haven’t been reading all the posts in my reader. Yet today I read this one and it’s just what I need. I will be reading the rest of the series with interest.
[...] Your page is on StumbleUpon [...]
At first when I started reading this post I was thinking 4 WHOLE WEEKS OF THIS ONE TOPIC!!!
But then after reading the post I understand why. It needs to be done, so well done for doing it.
lol… nope just one *maybe* 2 more max.
I can relate to your experience on many levels. You refer to it as a smack, and that’s exactly what it is. Sometimes the universe deals out these smacks to get us back on track when we stray from the path we should be following.
I wish you the best of luck with your new game plan. I’m sure you will get to where you want to go!
I don’t wanna go too much out on a limb here, but as a former pastor, I have seen this story play out time and time again and end in wreck and ruin because men do not like to admit they have lost control.
It is actually good therapy for you to blog about this (without giving too many specifics) as it will allow you to chronicle your trials while illustrating to those around you what you are thinking.
IOW–it may to difficult to express your feelings to those around you who are hurting because of your actions/inactions, but by writing it here, they can see into your heart and know where you are headed and get behind you on it.
Good stuff jason.
AL
I’m really looking forward to this….sounds all too familiar!
Yea good luck on your plan. I am going to make a plan for myself.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS POST!!!! I cannot tell you enough that I have been in the same boat over the past month. EVERYTHING I touch seems to fall apart and it seems like evil forces are kicking me at every turn. I know that many people are facing troubled times right now, and your post is so greatly appreciated.
We go and go and go until we just can’t go anymore and sometimes we have to be reminded to stop and “smell the roses”. That seems like a corny saying, but it’s so true. If we don’t stop to see the blessings, and take time to re-evaluate where we’re headed, we will never get where we WANT to go.
Thanks again!!
Wow this is a really amazing story.. Every time i read your posts i can imagine it in my head.. this story really helped me out because there are times that those things are related to my life… Once again thank you for sharing this amazing story of your life!
Thanks for sharing how you started the two lists to look at your situation.
I cannot think of a situation where anyone isn’t motivated by “because I want to”, unless our motivation is more along the line of “if I do this, it will make me feel good because I believe that..” or perhaps “if I don’t do this I won’t feel good”, or sometimes “It is the right thing to do or it’s the best choice at this momement”
The frustration comes when our ideal actions or schedule and reality clash.
Robert Burns said “The best laid plans of mice and men oft go (gang) awry and leave us ought but grief and pain for promised joy”
In Psalms I read “In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path.”(Even with detours.)
One place I worked didn’t have any “problems”. Those situations were “opportunities”. You are taking the opportunity to share – and that’s one more thing to add to a “thankful” list.
Grandmapeg
I need to figure out certain things in my life too. I guess I need to think over what I’m doing now and check whether I’m doing the right thing.
Besides, I’m waiting for the next post in this series on how you made a plan for yourself. Perhaps, I can get some wisdom from reading it as well.
Fantastic post! I felt like standing up and applauding (but I didn’t because the dog would look at me funny.)
Go for it! With that kind of attitude, you’ll do great.
And by the way, sometimes things fall apart for a reason. It can be that we need to clear the decks to make room for the new. But if you focus to the exclusion of all else on what’s going wrong instead of actively looking as well for what’s going right, then of course life seems to be completely in the toilet 24/7. Try looking for the good stuff as well. Even if all you can find to be grateful for in a day is that you’re not pushing up daisies, that’s something!
[...] the previous post “4 Weeks to Answering What This is All For” I mentioned the four [...]
Jason, have ever read Steve Pavlina ?
You’ll enjoy at least his posts about 30 day trials and life purpose.
I enjoyed your post and yes I need a big slap too.
ciao
alexander
Great stuff Jason! Thanks for sharing, I’m really looking forward to the rest of the series to see how you plan develops!
It’s so easy to place the blame elsewhere, that’s what we do, that’s what we know. Once you own it, and deal with it…..that’s when true growth comes through!
I had that same problem at one point, blaming other people. Its a good thing to get over, but you gotta be careful and not go back to it. I occasionly have to watch myself.